hey perceptionists 💙. I hope yall are have a good first quarter of the year, I certainly am not, I’d be happiest in my own apartment making cold coffee just for the fun of it but hey. we dont always get our way. I’ve been sick alot lately and it seems today I’m worst of all. I have for you today a piece very close to my heart and hope you all enjoy it.

please dont forget to like, follow and leave a comment down below and share, share it everywhere💙.

Today I died.

The day I died I woke up next to a bucket of vomit and I started to remember that a mans touch ruined my life. But her lifeless body on white linen with no skin and smile killed me when I rolled on the floor of his 1 room killing him, when I looked down on her in a pad because I was convinced all I had were period pains. The day I died I thought I had killed another person in a car that hit me on a busy road after running an errand I dreaded from home. The day I died i heard the scream of my own voice fading in the wind of his anger. The day i died I flew cross country to look for a hospital equipped to revive me. The day i died i had to pretend i dont feel pain so they wont call me an ungrateful, spoil, needy, attention seeking, lying, liability, the day I died I was told it’s the last time I’ll use the medical aid cause my life is too expensive and he cant afford it. Today I died. The day I died I couldn’t walk, my heart was beating so slow that my brain didnt get oxygen and when it stopped beating I was pronounced dead. The day I died everyone thought I’d wake up brain dead needing a feeding tube for the rest of my life. The day I died I was beaten for thinking about trying to commit suicide. The day I died I lied about what could be a kidney disease so that I wont be called a liar. Today I died. The day I died I hated the career she chose for me cause they chose hers for her, the day I died I stay up all night thinking about all the days I died. The day I died I fight demons implanted in head on times reserved for my sleep. Today I died, having given birth to a baby I’ll never hold, celebrating a birthday or a party I’ll never throw. The day I died I had a scar on my chest for a heart surgery I should have never had. Today I died.

Noms❤

2021 and I’ve been through the most. the only thing I have left is my back bone. the strength and the courage it took for me to write, read and post this is incredibly tremendous. Hey Perceptionists💙, it’s me again, the girl that definitely needs antidepressants, but if I start taking those I’m afraid I’ll stop writing and that has to be my biggest fear.

I hope you enjoy Backbone, dont forget to like, subscribe and comment, most importantly, please share the link to this, I’m tryna raise some awareness. And maybe this truly could be my last Poem, a heart that beats for someone else is bound to stop cause it beats outside of its inhabitor.

Backbone

The clutches of my mistakes have a chokehold on my screams at an apology which makes it silent, so I sat in silence while he pulled down my protective layers and pushed me on to linen I thought was a sanctuary to our existence.
Driving my ears towards his manhood, he forced his way for me to gurgle his being as I tried to tell him my truth, the dug deeper through my throat and all my fears turned to tears he didnt stop. After he had gratified himself he forced his way through my peace ignoring my cries, on camera he put all my insecurities on worlds view, but because I was his girlfriend that automatically gave him consent.
Pounds in fury made him the judge and the jury and the punishment to my heinous crimes was to take away what was most sacred to me which was the womanhood I gave him freely, now he took it forcefully and he didnt even realise he did it violently. For he said I was soo wet which justified his animosity
I feel like a caged me in free surroundings in the summer heat, these chains have me by my brain cause whenever I close my eyes for sleep I hear the announcement of ownership in his voice demanding my innocence to be his plaything.

In the thick of his blacked heart he couldn’t hear my horrid cries, he kept pounding proclaiming blasphemies and concluded my truths were lies and my punishment was to lay flat on my back and be submissive to his stallion, my Vemon, shot me on camera to replay my agony in his anger to satisfy his thirst for power that he absorbed from me. Play a movie I’ll be the victimised villain.
Against my objection he saw as his obligation to smear his ejeculation next to my beating heart his show of emasculation taking away my emancipation. In his speculation he didnt need my permission for I was his person.


Noms❤

Thank you for tuning in, dont forget to like, Subscribe, comment and share the link. until we meet again💙

Good day to all my PERCEPTIONISTS 💙 and to all new huns, welcome to the family. Today I feel is a good day to die.

I’m sure y’all are all wondering where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to, and yall are about to find out. I wanted to share this poem as it should most probably be the last one I post this year. I promise this piece will definitely step on some toes and will evoke alot of questions, for some of my followers who are on WhatsApp, please do share the link as much as possible and encourage a reader today💙 and to every other follower I have please also share the link, like and comment, I will be replying on the comments section as I dont have the chat anymore. I hope you enjoy the read💙.

As I Ascend To The Heavens, Remember Me

I dream of a day where my heart will stop beating for you
but everyday it keeps betraying me and keeps thudding for you. I dream of a day where my mind stops thinking of you, but it keeps painting canvases of your wretched smile and when I try to tell you of my crocked art work you tell me I’m retarded. But relentless my body still longs your warmth even on the hottest summer evening, I still thirst your bitter words form hatreds spear and it spares me no wounds, it keeps jabbing in a dance like its on some sort of trance and it wont stop until I’m drained out of blood and I’m an empty corpse filled with heartache words and lies as I lie on that steel bed and they dissect my heart like a lab rat they found a replica you felt there.
Cause not only did you steal my life you also took my heart. I gave you my being so that your beginning could be my end but that still wasnt enough, I wasnt enough, all I was still wasnt enough to spare me from your wrath, for the mistake i made was one any human can make but because of my chastity you could never accept I had become an impurity for stepping outside the gruesome boundaries you set up for me, I’m sad you had left me for I had plans to elevate us but that’s okay, it’s the punishment I deserve for mistakes I can not change, but for what it’s worth, i still need to apologize for all the hurt i caused you inside.
In my defence I have an excuse but that’s not enough for all the pain I’ve caused you. Have you weighed it against the pain you caused me or when you’re hurt only you are the factor. It petty I should mention, but I really think I should be given the benefit of the doubt but your beating heart should decide upon the one you have clenched in your hand, but make it quick, the longer you keep my heart the closer I’m getting to permanent death but before I die, remember this, I loved your entire being with my entire being, no questions, no stories, no doubts, no judgement, while some called me stupid, naive and outright insane, I knew I never seen a greater love, no matter the consequence, no matter the depth of your mistakes, I loved you for you, not your mistakes. I
dream of a day where my heart will stop beating for you
but everyday it keeps betraying me and keeps thudding for you. I dream of a day where my mind stops thinking of you, but it keeps painting canvases of your wretched smile and when I try to tell you of my crocked art work you tell me I’m retarded.

Noms❤

Please dont forget to like, follow and comment 💙

good morning perceptionists 💙 I know it’s been a minute but I am back (dont wanna bore you with the details), today I’m gonna post a very special piece, I wrote it at my most vulnerable, I hope you enjoy it💙

Mess

I’m a beautiful mess…
Put together by pieces of my sorrowful past.
An image mirroring my mistakes of an unforgettable me that seems to be forgotten, apparently the me I was didnt touch as many lives, so everyone doesnt remember me, all they see is the monster immitating me, difference is, she’s destroying everything she touches, especially me.

I’m a beautiful mess,
A cascade of thunder feels that bangs into my memories, causing showers of headaches that bounty my peace, and leaves me in pieces. A hunter that steals my soul and leave me with a hole but promises I’m whole.

I’m a beautiful mess, that no one can clean up, that I cant even dress up, a mess that I cant look at, even my shadow ran away from me, it doesn’t recognize what its supposed to be reflecting. In the mirror I see nothing but a shell of who I used to be, now I’m not even a who, I’m a what. That fails to answer that question. Knowing the answer is key to knowing me but the question remains and all I am are remains so no one can answer the question cause not even the key remains.

I’m a beautiful mess of storms and blackened passageways that lead to nowhere, getting to know me is a game of maze. I’m a beautiful mess of tangled missing puzzle pieces, whoever plays me still leaves me with strings that we had agreed wouldn’t attach, and who ever tries to put me together loses the game, I’m a predictable spirit.

Noms❤

Thank you sooo much for tuning in and reading what lives in my soul💙

dont forget to like, share and follow 💙

Good morning perceptionists, today I thought I should post yall a nice little piece to take a breather from the story time but fear not, I’ll be back with the story time next week, but for now, I hope you enjoy for all those poetry lovers out there💙💙💙

Thunder Cries

Blue skies and thunder cries from a broken heart tell tales of a wicked man or a broken man. Who knew we had to find shelter from the cruel world and swollen egos, uncontrollable lust and bitter pasts that have nothing to do with the sweet innocence of sexual freedom.

Blue skies and Thunder cries from broken hearts tell tales of hidden truths and dustbin babies, known from retarded rapists, the reality of the rapture, the second coming of christ, doesnt move them an inch, we still living the life of stolen souls and stealing peace.

Blue skies and thunder cries from a broken heart is covered by the aroma of spilt blood, lost souls and angry spirits, possessful demons engulfing civilization in their revengeful sprees, bounting innocent souls to feel whole without the knowledge that their dead, its quite sad.

Blue skies and thunder cries from a broken heart write stories in the clouds of lies told by pastors and poets who perpetuate powerful proverbs of purely misguided truths, pacifying people who ponder on questions of truths with the power of pounds, that’s the world in which we live.

Blue skies and thunder cries from a broken heart tell tales of broken glass from mirrors that can see our insides, I guess we dont like our filthy reflections. Make up covering the temple you were given turning it into a mansion of deceit, our true beings have become discreet, the worlds best kept secrets, hiding blemishes God created to be able to identify you in a the crowd, I wonder what he’ll do when it’s time to resurrect the living and find you buried in concealer?

Noms❤

I hope y’all enjoyed the read, stay tuned for more. Dont forget to like, comment, follow and share share share… repost, retweet, reShare everywhere💙💙💙💙💙

Have a beautiful Sunday, stay warm cozy and dont lose hope in love💙

So, Friday came, and I went to school in the morning as usual [oh and by the way, when I say school, I mean driving school, I was still doing my learners, (or driver’s ed for our international viewers)] I normally came back around 15h00ish and this day was no different despite what the afternoon or rather evening would unfold.

When I got home, P and I decided to go to the mall, but wasnt just to roam and supposedly accidentally, coincidentally “bump🤭🤭” into Dee, we were going to fetch him, he was looking dapper and clean as always, with a black suit, white shirt, stripy black and white tie and black boots, a clean shaved head and no beard in sight, he looked ohkay to take home to my folks, he was presentable.

We walked around the mall for about to hours waiting for him to finish with work at 17h00. At about 16h30, we went to the store and by this time, we were comfortable there and the staff had become accustomed to us being there, some welcoming, some who clearly had the hots for Dee hated our presence ( I mean he was and still is sexy AF) and he clearly was interested in either one of us or both of us😂😂😭, at that stage it wasnt really clear.

So we went inside the shop and somehow he was already waiting for us, we spoke, he said something about my ass and hips as always, but I had gotten used to it, like I said… second nature🙄. After he was done with work and closing up it was time to take that long to my mom, the walk from the mall to my place is about 15mins. So as we were walking, Dee recieved a phone call, I had never seen him soo defeated. He was always this ball of bursting energy and vibrant personality, it could make you sick but after this phone call, he was shot down and deflated like an old popped balloon, it was kinda sad. He then told us what the phone call was about and I was shattered as well.

His bestfriend had just passed away in a car accident, one of which we should have gone out with, which put a damper on our plans. We stood on the side of the road talking about what to do next, I told him that he didnt need to see my parents anymore and he could go and be with his friends and the family of the fallen soldier. BUT low and behold P, wasnt having it, she was forcing that Dee went to my mom, she said, if he did it once and got over it, it would be done, little did Dee and I know what she had planned for Dee…

Noms❤

Hey perceptionists💙, I hope everyone is snug and warm. I delivered as I promised, I hope you enjoyed the read, dont forget to like, comment and follow but MOST importantly please share the link…

Hey perceptionists💙 its your girl Noms and boy have have I missed yall, I know I disappeared for quite sometime but I can explain… these past 2months I’ve been putting something together, to move our little gathering from blogging to vlogging… but we’ll discuss that on my next post, right now, I’m back to story timing and I just think my timing is perfect, buckle up cause I think I might just tell you who Mr Dee’s real name is😘…

So after I gave Dee my 10s, P and I walked out of the store, she was still mesmerized and as for me, my feet were killing me, I was wearing high heeled boots and I had just spent two hours in the mall walking around with no purpose, after I had a long day at school and looked at the long way home, I really had no energy to think about the goosebumps Dee had given me earlier, all I wanted to do was get home and soak in a hot bath. I remember specifically taking my boots off at the gate of the mall and I walked barefoot home, its was a really rough day😂🤣🤣 as for my socks… I throw them out the following trash day (as you can imagine).

Later that evening Dee texted me, “I checked in with the store in town, they have the phone and it’s on special, if you get there in the morning you might just find it”. That was the most amazing text I had ever read, I mean as I was sitting in the tub I thought about the events of the day and I couldn’t stop smiling as I thought of Dee, he had literally brightened up my day (because he’s a yellow bone😂🤣🤣🤣).

The week from that Monday sailed smoothly, we went to the mall almost everyday, and we saw Dee almost everyday, he became kinkier and kinkier and somehow, I stopped finding it strange, it was in his nature.

On Thursday, same week, we went to the mall again and spoke to Dee, he asked if him and a group of friends could take us to the mall the following day (which was the Friday) and we said yes, we only had one problem though, Dee had to ask my mom’s permission for us to go and we had to explain how we wanted to go out with a man we had only met 4 days before with a group of other men we had never met before on a Friday night, I was only 18 bathong …

And that was how Dee had to meet my parents just 4 days after we had met him….

Find out on my next blog post (tomorrow) how the meeting went and what led to our very first kiss, after the meeting…

Noms❤

Dont forget to like, comment, share and follow💙💙

Disclaimer: I promise I will continue Tomorrow, (I have more time now😉😉)

Good morning perceptionists 💙 I know it’s been a hell of a minute and it’s all my fault 🙈 I entered this competition and one of the rules were that I cant post anything until it has run its cause… though I didnt win, I’m very proud of myself for entering I found out that out of 300 entries in S.A I made top 30 which is kinda a huge ass deal for me.

So because I’ve been gone for soo long, I think the continuation of that story time is what I’ll start with, alot of people have been asking me to continue…

so… it all started the day my aunt needed a phone, she’s like 2 years older than me so I call her by her name, she’s P…

It was a cool afternoon when I got back from a long day of school and she had asked me if I can accompany her to the mall (local mall) to look for a new phone, so I was game… We started window shopping for one and just had fun with it. We were walking shop to shop not finding anything interesting really and it was getting late. At like 17h00 we walked into this shop (let’s call it E’s). So we walked into E’s and started looking around, didn’t take us too long though cause the phone shelve thingies was right by the door and the counter was on the other end of the shop. Long story short, this majestic, tall, scrumptious man with a caramel tone and the warmest smile I’ve ever seen walked towards us and greeted us in the most friendliest way… If you would’ve asked me I would’ve said too friendly.

He was their sales consultant and from what we had seen, he was they’re best… I didnt really pay attention to him at that point but P was sooo smitten she couldn’t even hide it. She gave him all the attention, tried every flirting technique in the book, she became the literal definition of trying too hard. We spoke and he had sooo much to say about my body structure. Lemme give you a background, I might not be the sexiest person on earth but I am very beautiful and look a very daring way. And the more he spoke the more I realized that this guy is perverted but he isnt half horrible. He had beautiful brown eyes, a tall strong stature, big arms and broad shoulders (to be honest, I didnt noticed how beautiful this man really was until I saw him wearing a vest for the first time, now thats a story for a different day). He had nice hands, and clean fingers like he has never had an industrial job in his life, nicely trimmed short hair with a hint of curliness (dont even think that’s a real word). He was really gorgeous (at face value). Let’s call him Dee. As Dee and P were talking, (I’m actually a shy person, so I just stood there looking all awkward analyzing why this drop dead gorgeous guy would even be talking to us, cause to be honest P and I weren’t the best catch for a nigga like that). He turned to me and started having these shady comments and asking me questions and somehow in there somewhere, he asked for a number he could call us on if he found a better deal, so we exchanged 10s and that was the beginning of a beautiful, mind boggling, twisted tale of love…

Stay tuned to find out how this man who had managed to completely dazzle my aunt, left me disturbed and uninterested, got to meet my parents 5 days after we met and how we had our first kiss over an argument about 3 way kisses and what they were, on the side of the road after he had just touched his “package” behind a shelter💙💙

Noms❤

… dont forget to like, subscribe, comment and share the link down below💙

Good morning perceptionists💙… so this morning was a little upsetting, waking up to a wave of emotions and a cold floor. From terrible nightmares, a merciless headache and beating eardrums.

Firstly though, before I get into it I just want to express gratitude, to my international viewers, I would like to say thank you soo very much for tuning in and joining me here. I really appreciate the support. To my home viewers, you remain the backbone of this blog and my biggest motivation to post every week.

Today I titled the blog Just Wednesday, maybe its cause I couldn’t find a rhyming word or I’m feeling under the weather, literally, I understand its beginning to be summer in other parts of the world, in USA and the like, which would be great right now here, a little bit of sun would be awesome.

So lately I’ve been contemplating on whether to write you my story or not. From the beginning of it all, 2 and a half years ago, it’s one of romance, love, pain, hurt, betrayal, more pain, and even more pain, but the one thing that’s stayed consistent was God, love, family and friends.

I’m a writer, I write to express what I feel, I write to educate but most importantly I write to let go. I tried a journal, it didnt work out, I tried a diary, I almost got in trouble with that, I think I got a little too honest there and I’ve tried psychological help but I take 10 steps back whenever I feel I’ve made progress.

It all started when I met this person I’m convinced could be the love of my life. He was strong, gorgeous but very dangerous (still is). He was streetwise and also very learned, a hustler at best, very abusive at worst (never laid a finger on me though). He was the sweetest, friendliest giant I’ve known, but could turn vicious and malicious at the speed of light… I met him at this work place looking all tall and handsome, he was such a meal, I could eat up right there and then.

We became friends, and gradually, we became closer than friends, I fell in love, he didn’t, it concerned me at first cause I always questioned myself, my worth but, let’s not get into that just yet. A couple of months later, he told me he loved me and that was the beginning of a tragic love story.

Lives were lost, souls were lost, spirits were broken and trust hung in the balance. Plots, revenge, burdens and pain unimaginable incurred….

Stay tuned for the continuation perceptionists, and as a lovely bonus I might post a poem later today that has nothing to do with this story time.

_Noms❤_

Dont forget to like, follow, comment and share💙

Hey hey Perpecptionists (see what I did there😂😂🤣🤣🤣). Firstly, I’d like to apologize for taking such a long time to upload this post, it has been such a rocky road. The past couple of months have been hectic in ways we all just can not fathom and it’s been so overwhelming. We see so many people going through depths of depression and so am I honestly but today’s all about appreciation, appreciating myself and appreciating everyone more especially ladies and reminding them that we are rocks, but also appreciating gentleman who support us in everything more especially our mental health. This piece goes out to all of you beautiful people and is tribute to Nkosinathi Mncwango, Mr Thembelani Mkhize and My best of everything Ayanda Mncwabe.

Womandla Wednesday

Awavuleke amazulu kungene intombi yomzulu.
My scream defeats warriors and it breathes life into the breathless, but dont worry I’m not yet speechless…
I wanna tell you about my greatness.
I’m a beaut, flower petals of extinct plants explain my great, of course you dont know it, I’m a rare subject. Your tounge trips when talking about my essence, my effervescence doesn’t allow your mind to be transcendent to my level.
I am a queen, like you’ve never seen, my stride blazes warfare and I conquer battles by mere breathing, I’m a vessel of unmanipulated extravagance.
But I can also be savage..
My lips speak daggers that tore up hearts, and blow kisses of translucent lies when I steal my way into your heart with the intention of not staying there. I bounty pieces of you soul to exchange them for fragments of my being, restored by a mere kiss. The realization that you now have a hole to make me whole came in the night, sel’dume ladlula, imi intombi yoMadlula. For being indebted to my migtness, kneel for I am your royal highness, I told you I am a queen.
I am the bees knees, which you’ve apparently never seen, I told you I’m a rare subject, I can pollinate your being with my essence and you’d feel sweet honey. I can inject you with a sting of kindness and the bitter person you are I’d let the Phoenix I am get reborn in you. Fly high like the bird you are but remember your salvation is at my feet, that’s where you come back down to eat.
Awavuleke amazulu ingene intombi yomSwati, I’m a walking encyclopedia, I create your tropical cyclone, kwazise phela I’m a hurricane, a force to be reckoned with, a natural disaster that leaves a beautiful ray of hope after, I am a rainbow, a beautiful radiance of everything gorgeous in every colour, shape and form, I am the superior being, I told you I am a queen.

Noms❤

Thank you for tuning in🌹 please dont forget to like, subscribe, comment, and share. And remember have a Womandla Wednesday ❤